Well… here’s what I want from male chastity:

Here he is… all mine (and read what he has to say about that in this week’s Newslet­ter).

Yummy. It doesn’t actu­ally do him jus­tice — the belt scrunches up his belly a lit­tle. He looks much harder and bet­ter naked…

I finally man­aged to per­suade him to pose, albeit reluc­tantly for a pic this morn­ing, using the wheedling girly excuse Tom and Thumper pose for HNT, so it’d be a shame to be out­done by those coves, wouldn’t it?

Now, I — we, I should say — didn’t get here by luck, happy cir­cum­stance or out­ra­geous good for­tune. No, we got here because John was smart enough to realise if he didn’t ask for what he wanted, the chances of him get­ting it were slim. I’d have had to be some kind of mind-reader to get the hints he might have oth­er­wise dropped.

And let’s face it… get­ting a hint about some­thing you’re com­pletely unaware and igno­rant of would be One Almighty Feat in itself.

Clear com­mu­ni­ca­tion is the key.

See, I had a mes­sage this morn­ing from a chap who’s doing very well in get­ting into the male chastity lifestyle, but he then said this:

“Sarah, a quick note…you’re encour­age­ment and ‘woman’s point of view’ has helped tremen­dously.  I have now gone a solid week in con­tin­u­ous locked mode, but with the key always in my wife’s bath­room drawer… right next to the aspirin.

I told her three days ago, jok­ingly, ‘Honey, if this is going to work the way it’s sup­posed to, you’re can’t ‘hide’ the key in plain sight!’

Every day, as I would check, the key would still be there, indi­cat­ing, to me, that she was not really on-board with this project…not really moti­vated to exploit the con­trol I’m try­ing to give her.  I looked again last night, and the key was gone.  Now we’re get­tin’ some­where!  Thank you!”

Now, kudos to him for get­ting this far. Good job, an’ all that.

But it does go to show you can never afford to assume some­one else — even your part­ner — actu­ally knows what you mean when you drop these hints about male chastity.

She might have other things on her mind, might not hear you, might thing you’re just mess­ing… or she sim­ply might not know what you’re on about. And there is a small chance she’ll get the idea she’s doing some­thing wrong but have no idea what it could be.

And there, gen­tle reader, as I’m sure you’ll recog­nise, lies the seed of a mis­un­der­stand­ing that sim­mers and fes­ters and blows up unpre­dictably at some point in the future. I’m not exag­ger­at­ing — you know it hap­pens, don’t you?

And the thing about con­trol is it both has to be given and it has to be accepted. You can’t just give it to her uni­lat­er­ally. She’s got to know it’s there to be taken, and then she has to take it. If she’s unsure about it, she won’t.

So, how much smoother — and quicker — would it have been if he’d said some­thing like:

“Honey, how would you feel about keep­ing the key so I don’t know where it is? The device is com­fort­able now and I can always ask you for it if I really need it. I’d really like you to take it so I can’t just get it when­ever I want to. It’s always a temp­ta­tion and I want my only temp­ta­tion to be YOU”

This isn’t rocket sci­ence, either.

It’s a valu­able life-skill that’ll serve you well in many sit­u­a­tions, not just male chastity.

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