“So,” the lady wrote, “you keep your husband in chastity and you think that’s a reasonable way to behave in a marriage?”
The long and short of it is someone wants to be a husband in chastity… and she doesn’t like the idea of locking him after they’re married.
A fairy-tale this is not… boy meets girl, they fall in love, he wants to be a husband in chastity, boy tells girl, shit hits fan.
Apparently, this is his plan, you see.
He Wants to Start out as He Means to Go on – Her Husband in Chastity!
While this might seem a little hopeful, naïve and unrealistic, I actually think it’s a good idea so long as you’ve given it some proper thought. After all boyfriend in chastity, husband in chastity… what’s the difference?
Very little except marriage is something to take seriously and so anything that’s going to grease the wheels and keep you humming along together nicely has to be a good thing in my book. And having your husband locked can be a big help in that.
And what better way to start out than both of you knowing what each wants, expects and needs from the other?
Yet, I do see her point. I’ve perhaps been unfair to her because from what I can gather, it’s come as a bit of a shock and he’s broken the golden rule and rather than take his time and test the waters he’s dived in headfirst thinking she’ll simply jump at the chance of having him that way.
Although having said that, I personally think it’s better to have this potential incompatibility out in the open right now, before they both become bound by the marriage contract.
Because wanting to be locked won’t go away. If he wants to be a husband in chastity, then that’s what he wants. It’ll wax and wane to be sure… but it will always be there and the longer it’s ignored or suppressed the worse it will be. Because the idea won’t be forgotten.
There’s something called the sunk cost fallacy. It’s where we mistakenly believe that by not stopping a failing project or behaviour we’re somehow “saving” what we’ve already invested.
But we’re not.
Any time, money or effort expended is already gone. The only position worth considering is the one you’re in NOW.
So if a man wants, craves and needs to be kept in chastity but foregoes that because his future wife isn’t interested, and stays with her because he thinks he’s “wasting” all the effort he’s put in hereto, then he’s mistaken.
What’s Important is His Future as a Husband in Chastity Not His Past!
Sounds rather ominous, doesn’t it?
Don’t misunderstand me: I’m not saying they should necessarily part ways and not marry. I’m not giving marital advice or telling anyone what he or she should do.
But I am saying if he needs to be locked and she won’t even entertain the idea, then not marrying might be the best idea.
I say this because I know we humans tend to gloss over things we don’t want to confront. And incompatibilities like his wanting male chastity and her not being interested is one of them.
The wider point is something I cover in Be Careful What You Wish For, and that’s how I think it’s a mistake for any man who wants to be a husband in chastity to get into a relationship first and then introduce male chastity afterwards.
It’s almost certainly going to be easier in the long run to seek a woman who’ll lock him and form the relationship with that as a given.
Short term that’s going to be hard, because talking frankly about sex and sexuality is tough for most people. And he’s likely going to have to kiss a lot of frogs, so to speak, before he finds the Princess who’ll gladly hold his key.
There are some excellent online forums for matching people of all manner of persuasions, and I’m sure you could find a woman who wants her husband in chastity on almost any of them. If you want to be locked in chastity, it’s worth putting in the effort to make it happen.
I consider myself lucky. I have John locked in chastity so, so very strict and delicious it makes my heart skip every time I think about it.
I can’t help thinking a woman who has the opportunity to keep her husband in chastity and doesn’t take it must be slightly mad, but perhaps that’s just me ;-).
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