Male Chastity and Control

by Sarah on August 24, 2010

What does it mean for a man in male chastity to hand over control?

I ask this because I just recently saw a post on a forum a long way from here where the poster, a woman new to being a Domme, asked how she should start taking control of her man. As synchronicity would have it, it struck a chord since this very topic is top-of-consciousness for me since I’m writing at length on this subject in this week’s newsletter… but I digress)

Anyway, the instant reply was:

Take full control at the very beginning and never let up. Let him know he is there for your pleasure and that is his main focus in life.”

I actually think this is idiotic bordering on retarded.

My own reply was this:

The first thing to do is set the ground rules and BOTH of you decide what is and is not acceptable behaviour from the other.

Simply saying ‘you have full control’ is retarded. For example, does this mean you are free to kill him?

No.

In which case you don’t have full control and there ARE boundaries. The first thing to do is establish where and what those boundaries are.”

And I’m not just saying this out of my own distaste for it and the stupidity it personifies – male chastity is fun, and part of that fun is in the power exchange and that is why are some very good, objective reasons for actually behaving like sane and sensible creatures about this.

There’s no denying John loves the thrill of not knowing what I’ll do; and I love the thrill of being able to do what I want without his permission or approval, since that’s been given upfront. But part of what makes male chastity so much fun is knowing it’s safe and secure.

It’s like a rollercoaster or other scary fairground ride where the danger is illusory – still enough to scare yet do no physical harm. That’s the whole point – the thrill of danger without the reality of harm.

See, these people who talk about “full control” are talking utter shit.

As I’ve said before, if you want to see what happens when one person or group of people has full control over another, go look at Somalia where a 13yo girl was stoned to death for adultery because she’d been raped.

That, my friends, is full control where the person subject to it has no rights, no say and whose thoughts, feelings, opinions and yea their very life simply doesn’t count.

Now, it’s unlikely (but not impossible) a wayward Mistress is going to harm her “slave”. Or is it? Because harm can mean many things and different things harm different people in different ways.

When I say safe and secure in relation to male chastity what I’m effectively saying is behaviour which is within the agreed boundaries.

And as I said we know these boundaries exist and we can all point to behaviours we’d probably all agree are outside them (even the most ridiculous “superior female” would probably recognise it’s unwise to kill her “property”, even if they recognise precious little else about this reality we all share).

But exactly where do they lie?

Bottom line: if you don’t have “The Conversation” about male chastity I describe in the FREE Guide, “Why He Wants You to Say ‘NO!’” then you’re potentially storing up some serious crap for yourself.

P.S. Newsletter day is fast approaching and John has kindly agreed once more to share his thoughts, this time on submission and male chastity (with seven more months, perhaps, or orgasm denial to go, he’s thought about it a lot).

If you want to hear what John has to say about male chastity, control and submission – from his own experience, rather than assuming mind-reading solipsists who think Argument from Incredulity is a valid form of rational argument really do know others’ minds better than those others do themselves – then you’d be wise to get your name on the subscription list.

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