Not too long ago there was a post on the Male Chastity Forum from some chap who had met and mar­ried his wife in a D&S con­text but now they’ve had a baby and she just ain’t into it any more.

Boo hoo.

OK, per­haps I shouldn’t be so harsh, because I know from my own expe­ri­ence with my ex-husband, when you’re not get­ting what you want from a rela­tion­ship it leaves you feel­ing frus­trated, down­hearted and, frankly mis­er­able (see this com­ing week’s newslet­ter for more about this topic in par­tic­u­lar).

But what got me about this fellow’s atti­tude was how it was all about him. His posts osten­si­bly sought advice but when the advice he got wasn’t what he wanted to hear, he kept ask­ing the same ques­tion over and over again, which was in effect, “how can I make my wife into my Domme again? All I want to do it serve her”.

He didn’t want advice about how to get male chastity and orgasm denial back into his rela­tion­ship: he wanted approval. Sadly, that’s extremely com­mon in all walks of life. It’s a fun game to lis­ten to peo­ple closely and see how fre­quently they do it.

But that aside, there is noth­ing more frus­trat­ing on this Earth than want­ing some­thing from some­one who doesn’t want to give it to you. Inan­i­mate objects you can deal with – you can smash them up, replace them or repair them… what­ever. But you can do some­thing and you don’t have to have their cooperation .

Yet peo­ple… oh my.

And it’s never worse than when it’s some­one who’s close to you, some­one whose life is tightly inter­twined with your own so sim­ply shrug­ging and walk­ing away is nei­ther emo­tion­ally nor prac­ti­cally feasible.

The fact is, though, you can’t make any­one do any­thing, not with­out force or bul­ly­ing. And I really can’t imag­ine many things more unpleas­ant than play­ing a kinky sex game like male chastity and orgasm denial with some­one out of a sense of duty or fear.

And this is why I cover it in so much detail both in BCWYWF and Why He wants You To Say ‘NO!’.

PLEASE remem­ber, folks, peo­ple will always act most will­ingly in their best inter­ests. Every­one wants to know “what’s in it for me?” so sim­ply telling your wife or girl­friend over and over again what you want prob­a­bly isn’t much of a change from the behav­iour that got you where you are now (which is some­where you don’t want to be any more).

The fun­da­men­tal prob­lem, I fear, is men – usu­ally – are focus­ing on male chastity and orgasm denial as an end in itself, rather than as a means to an end.

And what is that end?

Well, let’s not deny men are prob­a­bly more focused on the sex­ual aspects of it, at least in the begin­ning, but really what men want is more inti­macy, with sex being a part of that (men’s upbring­ing is gen­er­ally lack­ing in emo­tional “train­ing” and they often strug­gle to sep­a­rate love and sex even though, con­tra­dic­tory crea­tures that they are, they can fuck at the drop of a hat with a total stranger and think noth­ing of it. I think it’s when they are in love the con­fu­sion really starts for them).

But I think if women really realised, truly under­stood that male chastity and orgasm denial is the tool by which what prac­ti­cally all women want can be realised – that is, a close, lov­ing and more phys­i­cally and emo­tion­ally inti­mate rela­tion­ship – I think men would have an eas­ier time get­ting them on board.

Of course, this is all pred­i­cated on the assump­tion the dis­tance you per­ceive in your rela­tion­ship is a gap and not a yawn­ing, uncross­able chasm filled with dark­ness and things with teeth and claws.

Because regard­less of what many claim and many more seem to think, male chastity and orgasm denial are not fool­proof panaceas to cure all your rela­tion­ship ills.

But that’s a story for another day, methinks.

Tagged as: chastity lifestyle, Male Chastity, male chastity and orgasm denial, male chastity benefits, male chastity guide, male chastity marriage, male orgasm denial

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