A curious thing I’ve noticed about interest in the male chastity lifestyle in the run up to Christmas is how so many people seem to be getting into it, or at least are taking the first few steps.
Remarkable, really. It’s as if the Season of Good Will is triggering all sorts of dirty thoughts in men’s minds.
And who can blame them. Perhaps it’s the snow; or the thought of all those sexy women in their Santa outfits (don’t ask me about that… ask John and all the other men who get off on that one).
But seriously, traffic to the male chastity blog has skyrocketed without any obvious reason, and Be Careful What You Wish For is flying off the electronic shelves like there’s no tomorrow.
I’m wondering if you men aren’t thinking along the lines of buying a male chastity device for yourself for Christmas and presenting it and your ideas over a glass or three of mulled wine and hoping the traditional Sex at Christmas might be transmuted into Denial at Christmas and Long After.
You should be so lucky!
To paraphrase an old RSPCA ad from the UK
Male Chastity is for Life, Not Just for Christmas
Well, OK, if you’re smart you won’t be jumping into male chastity quite this quickly and comprehensively, but you get my meaning, I’m sure.
But, just in case you are planning some big Unveiling, Spilling of Guts, and Baring of Souls, let me take a few minutes to reiterate some important points about you, male chastity and your poor, unsuspecting partner.
It’s usually men who have the fantasy of male chastity and are the ones driving it, at least in the beginning, so that’s the angle I’m looking at it from. If you’re a woman having these thoughts about your man, you need to think a little more carefully.
1. She Doesn’t Know About Your Male Chastity Fantasy
Don’t make the mistake of assuming she knows your male chastity fantasy as well as you do.
In fact, the chances are she doesn’t know about it at all, not even if you’ve hinted at it. You might think your hints are obvious (I’ve seen some examples men have sent me, men puzzled at their wives’ seeming intransigence), but they’re not.
Most of us women think about sex much less rarely than you men, and your saying something like “you could lock me up and make me serve your pleasure” when we’re elbow deep in the washing up makes zero sense to us, even if we hear it. That, by the way was a genuine example actually said in that scenario – while she was washing up.
HE thought it was a grand time to edge the conversation towards his “slavery”; she just wanted to get it done so she could relax and watch the TV.
2. Don’t Just Dump Male Chastity on Her, Lock, Stock and Barrel
We women tend to like a gentle introduction to things, especially when they’re things that might seem at first like we’re about to undergo a massive change in our entire lifestyle.
Think of it this way… if you’ve ever worked out you’ll know it makes sense to warm up before attempting to lift the heavy stuff.
Or, if you’ve ever climbed into a hot bath (or a cold one, for that matter) you’ll know it behooves you not to jump in too quickly unless you’re the kind of person who enjoys that kind of thing.
3. Don’t Get Mad or Impatient if We Find Male Chastity Surreal
Guys, this is serious stuff to us girls.
Most of us have had the experience of men getting all kinds of nasty if we don’t put out. It’s serious aversion therapy.
To have our loved ones turn round and ask for this kind of thing… well… it takes some getting used to.
And as I say over and over again, both here on the blog and in private emails you’ve got to show us the benefits and walk your walk, so to speak, rather than just talking the talk.
4. Bottom Line: Male Chastity is Not Normal
I don’t mean this in any pejorative sense at all, but it would be ludicrous to suggest it’s normal in the sense it’s practised in the majority of relationships up and down the land.
It’s more common than most people think, I’m sure; and it’s becoming more popular by the day; AND a lot of men and women who are introduced to it find it exciting (meaning it’s not their fantasy until someone tells them about it; this is in contrast to the many men I correspond with who have developed their fantasy without any help, and only stumbled across the “community” so to speak while specifically looking for information on something they probably assumed only they had ever thought about).
But it’s not normal or usual and you can bet your partner’s mother never sat her down and told her about “men who like to…”. It’s unlikely many of her friends have ever heard about it, either.
My point is… there’s a chance she’s going to be shocked and even scared witless because it’s something so new and different and it’s about you know what.
So take your time and make sure you’ve got all the facts at your fingertips because the chances are she’s going to be asking you a lot of questions.
Yes, I know the thought of that might make you sweat a little right now, because having those kinds of adult conversations is hard if you’re not used to them, and most of us aren’t.
But believe me, the more work you put in NOW the easier and more pleasurable it’s going to be in the long run. And if you do it right, you’re going to have a long, long time to think about what you’ve got yourself into.
Don’t take my word for this – ask around, ask people like Lori Lancer who with 20 years’ experience knows about these things.
Male chastity is fun, but it’s serious, too – and that’s why it’s important to get it right.