I get a lot of pleasure from male chastity.

Not only do I get the pleasure probably every woman gets from it, but I, personally, love the pleasure John gets from it, too.

And then, as if all this wasn’t reward enough I now have the pleasure of writing about it, too, sharing what I know and have discovered with like minded men and women – and the very best of all is getting emails from readers who liken my approach to a breath of fresh air. I’m not an especially modest woman, to be sure, but I am a little surprised – yet naturally very pleased for all that – to discover the Blog, the free Guide and the weekly newsletter have taken off so well.

Yet, occasionally, there are the low moments. Just when you think you’ve encountered the most ignorant fool you’re ever going to meet… an even more ignorant fool comes along and takes your estimation of the human race to hitherto unplumbed depths.

I received an email today from someone who recently sent me a message asking for advice about male chastity and some “masturbation schedule” one of his friends was helping him with. I said I’d put something in the newsletter about it.

And for one reason and another I didn’t. Hard to believe, I know, but I’m not actually here as your personal consultant, laddie. You are at the end of a reasonably long line of people all of whom have questions they want answering.

He took umbrage at this. He also took umbrage at my description of my teasing session with John, which was in the newsletter (and back-issues are now available).

Here’s what he said:

“So what was the reason for you not putting something about the schedule I asked you about in the newsletter like you said you would?  I thought you said you weren’t a domme? I lost all respect for you because of that. “

Wow. At this point I’m wondering two things:

1. How the teasing session makes me a domme (it doesn’t); and
2. Why he thinks I’d care about what he thinks?

Please, before I get to the best bit (yes, there is more to come) bear in mind this lad is just 22 and, I am sure, still a virgin. To him male chastity is moot because he’s single, too.

I was tempted to go through his email here and show you the rest. It really was wonderfully nuts. There was me thinking male chastity was just a kinky game John and I enjoy.

But no, clearly not. This 22 year old virgin with bugger all life-experience knows us much better than we do ourselves and he’s sure John has “psychological issues he has buried inside himself that force him to appear manly and tough” and “He is clearly trying to compensate for his small stature by taking extreme amounts of pain and being a servant (whether you want to admit it or not)”.

I do so love unfalsifiable hypotheses in the guise of rational analyses.

Any man who had actually had sex with something other than his own hand knows the incredible pleasure of being teased by a woman has nothing to do with submission. Even the most vanilla and square couples engage in it to some extent, I’m sure. I don’t think I’ve ever spoken to anyone who said they didn’t like verbal and physical teasing during lovemaking – and male chastity at its most basic is really just an extension of that.

My, but there must be a fuck of a lot of people out there with psychological issues.

But, I’ve saved the best until last, the bit that prompted me to send an incredibly rude and insulting three-line reply.

He said (and I am not making this up):

“ I’m telling you this for your own good (you and John both). God is love and your marriage is supposed to be based upon that love.  I have always thought kinky games are just kinky games, but you have taken the game much too far.  I hope you guys wake up and start following the path of Christ, before it is too late.”

Isn’t that sweet?

I thank you for your concern for our souls and eternal salvation; but as atheists, I think we’ll ignore your advice and just stick to male chastity and hot gorilla sex (more to the point, we didn’t marry in church, and I don’t recall either of us inviting this God of yours to join us).

But… I really do wonder about your soul, you know… I mean, what does your imaginary man in the sky make of you emailing a married woman your sordid little fantasies, never mind crawling over the Internet looking at adult sites?

I don’t suppose that occurred to you, did it?

Hmm?

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