For orgasm denial to be a per­ma­nent way of life, your man has to be more than will­ing. In fact, to make it work as a real­is­tic lifestyle choice, I sus­pect he’s got to be eager.

Orgasm Denial — Do you have the balls to make it permanent?

Let me explain why I say this.

There’s no doubt orgasm denial is a fun­da­men­tal part of male chastity. For some men it’s really just about orgasm con­trol mean­ing they have in their ground rules they get to orgasm, but per­haps not so fre­quently or so eas­ily as before.

But for some men, it goes beyond con­trol into actual orgasm denial — mean­ing, their orgasms are con­sciously and delib­er­ately with­held by whomever they have handed over the deci­sion to.

Now, on the face of it no man would want this. Orgasm denial per­haps one of those things where if you have the desire no expla­na­tion is pos­si­ble, and if you don’t then no expla­na­tion is nec­es­sary. As some­one put it today to me on Twit­ter, “I think it comes down to the fact that desire itself is plea­sur­able”.

And as I’ve often said, I don’t fully under­stand orgasm denial myself… but I don’t have to because I can sim­ply enjoy the ben­e­fits I get from it plus enjoy the effect on and the plea­sure it brings the man I love.

Orgasm denial as a way of life

We can go even deeper into this and look at men and women for whom orgasm denial is more than an occa­sional game, but actu­ally a way of life. As in, for what­ever rea­sons they have decided orgasm denial is going to be permanent.

This is where it gets a bit silly, in my opin­ion. Well, it gets silly in lots of places, but it gets really silly here in par­tic­u­lar. One of the biggest mis­con­cep­tions about orgasm denial is it’s some­how not consensual.

It is.

Every sin­gle time.

I get a fair few emails from men and a few com­ments on this blog (I don’t approve them) claim­ing they have some­how been forced into chastity and orgasm denial against their will. On the other side of the coin, I get emails and com­ments from women (who are usu­ally men pre­tend­ing to be women, if truth be told) claim­ing they have forced or are black­mail­ing their men into the same.

And it’s all a crock of shit. If a man didn’t agree to orgasm denial he could sim­ply cut the device off. Or stick a pow­er­ful dildo up his arse and cum like that. Or forcibly take the key from his wife. Or beat her up and make her tell him where it is.

This is why ‘forced chastity’ and ‘forced orgasm denial’ are such BS.

Orgasm denial, even as a per­ma­nent way of life is a lifestyle choice which requires ongo­ing con­sent and coop­er­a­tion of the man involved. Any other sug­ges­tion is B.S., no mat­ter how loudly and stri­dently the Chastity Tal­iban claim oth­er­wise. They are deluded at best, and out­right liars at worst.

More than that for most men it also requires the ongo­ing con­sent and coop­er­a­tion of the woman, too, espe­cially if he wants her to give him the tease and denial he craves (very few men want to be locked and left; and prob­a­bly even fewer want their wives fuck­ing other men while this is all happening).

So…

Why would a man choose permanent orgasm denial?

Because if your appre­ci­a­tion and enjoy­ment of sex­ual activ­ity isn’t pred­i­cated on the neces­sity of reach­ing orgasm… why not?

For many men, the plea­sure of pleas­ing a woman, how she moves, how she looks, and how she sounds is the bet­ter part of the plea­sure of sex.

For many men the plea­sure of sex, the need and desire to orgasm right up to the edge is itself more plea­sur­able than going over the edge itself and expe­ri­enc­ing the inevitable come-down (remem­ber the old say­ing, “the jour­ney is bet­ter than the inn”? It applies here for a great many men).

Which leads me to another com­ment I get a lot, and which I frankly find annoy­ing. And that’s the “but won’t John lose hope and give up?”.

Sim­i­larly, I’ve had it said I “must” do cer­tain things to make sure John doesn’t “cheat”.

This all misses the essen­tial point that while it might be true if he saw orgasm as the be-all and end all… he doesn’t. So he doesn’t want to cheat. He doesn’t want to come (well, he does, but only “in the moment”, which is why when I treat him to Tease and Denial, I’ll often restrain his hands).

In other words, in terms of John’s orgasm denial it’s totally irrel­e­vant, and the peo­ple who keep bring­ing it up really ought to read more of this blog and my emails and stop pro­ject­ing their own feel­ings and desires onto oth­ers. Orgasm denial is plea­sure in and of itself. Per­ma­nent orgasm denial with reg­u­lar and intense tease and denial is a nat­ural exten­sion of this to the limit of what’s possible.

Yes, some men like to play the game of “I’m locked and I have no choice and I’ll cheat if I can”.

Fine.

Do that.

But don’t pre­tend chastity and orgasm denial is not just a game and expect oth­ers to take you seri­ously, don’t fool your­self into think­ing every­one else has the same desires and sees it the same way, and don’t start try­ing to shoe­horn your own per­cep­tions and mean­ing into other people’s lives. It all just makes you look naive, igno­rant and stupid.

Fact is, we’ve not made our minds up yet.

We are def­i­nitely lean­ing towards per­ma­nent orgasm denial, but we do have some con­cerns, none of which are to do with John miss­ing out on them (it’s really more about what I’ll per­haps miss out on, but that’s another story).

This isn’t to say things will never change. As some­one pointed out, for­ever and never are a long time. We can change our minds if one or both of us decide that’s what we want. Some­one asked me a lit­tle while ago what I’d do if John changed his mind about chastity and orgasm denial, and I was some­what perplexed.

What could I “do”?

Why would I want to “do” anything?

John and I are together because we love each other and we want to be together. It’s not pred­i­cated on male chastity and orgasm denial.

On the con­trary, our deep love is what makes male chastity and orgasm denial pos­si­ble and I think more peo­ple would do well to realise this and see their own rela­tion­ships in a sim­i­lar light.

More Orgasm Denial Posts

• Orgasm denial as a permanent way of life
• Orgasm Denial: How Long Is Long Enough?

Tagged as: chastity benefits, chastity lifestyle, enforced male chastity, forced male chastity, locked in chastity, male chastity and orgasm denial, male orgasm denial, orgasm control, orgasm denial, Permanent Male Chastity

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