Orgasm Denial – the Dynamics of Exquisite Torture

by Sarah on October 1, 2011

orgasm denial never hurt so good

Orgasm denial… when a man hasn’t had an orgasm for a while…

… and he’s been giving his partner plenty of her own…

… and she’s been taking him to the edge over and over again, sometimes for as many as 31 nights on the trot (which is something John starts today — 31 days straight of tease and orgasm denial with no ruined orgasm to relieve the pressure)…

… there’s no doubt he’s love to come.

I think we can all agree on that one.

But, does this mean he’ll plot, scheme, whine and wheedle his way into getting one?


… it depends.

Orgasm Denial – The Dynamics

See, each couple has a different set of rules they’ve agreed to.

For some of them, most notably those with a bias towards D&S or where sex is used as a currency in the relationship, it’s possible for the man to “earn” an orgasm as a reward; or, as I said, to trick and wheedle his way into one. Or even “cheat”, perhaps.

For others the pleasure comes from the orgasm denial and the teasing in and of itself, not from the fantasy surrounding it.

We, John and I, as you should be able to work out for yourself, fall into the latter group.

Alas, the hard of thinking seem blind to the existence of this second group entirely and insist everyone is in the first group, even if they don’t know it themselves. It’s just the willful ignorance of the zealot, so don’t let it trouble you.It’s like any other religion, really: purports to explain everything, and in doing so explains nothing.

I had a message through the blog yesterday, too long and inane to reproduce here.

It was clearly, to my mind, from a man pretending to be a woman, replete with phrases like

I no longer have any fascination or interest for his penis whatsoever, and if it were never used again… well that would not bother me at all”


I’m afraid that I would insist on completely permanent chastity… I would make it quite clear to him that NO orgasms would ever be possible for him again”


I just don’t see any reason to base our love on the use of an organ that as far as I’m concerned has now outlived its usefullness”.

And even if I’m wrong and it is a woman — and I could be, I freely admit — she has entirely missed the point of male chastity and orgasm denial as John and I practice and enjoy it.

Apart from anything else it’s just stupid to the extreme. I mean, “I would make it quite clear to him that NO orgasms would ever be possible for him again“.


And just how is that going to work?

No one with a brain would actually ever think that was possible; I suspect only someone with the fantasy — a man — would even think to write it.

Orgasm Denial Has to be Consensual

I mean just how does this fool think it’s possible to make an orgasm impossible? Fucking idiot.

Male chastity and orgasm denial for me and John is about the experience and the pleasure we both get from it.

For me it means far more emotional and physical intimacy, and a lot of fun and laughter, too.

For John, while I don’t presume to speak for him, it seems to be the extreme physical pleasure of denial plus the feeling of being constantly half-way to orgasm. And, of course, there’s the pleasure he gets from pleasing his partner, which I’m sure any man will be able to resonate with.

And this, of course, is why permanent orgasm denial is not the big deal it might be to some, with their insistence that it will make him lose  hope and interest. If you think that, you simply haven’t been paying attention.

Everything I write is really for people in the second group — those for whom the pleasure comes from the orgasm denial and the teasing in and of itself, not from the fantasy surrounding it.

If your fantasy is a D&S one, then while you will probably get something from it, it’s not really aimed at you. Orgasm denial can be, and is for many couples, fun in and of itself, without the need for an elaborate fantasy around it.

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