John and I have been trying a few new things recently.
I suspect almost any kind of kink or sex play is something of a slippery slope where one thing tends to lead to another, and then to another… until you’re a long way from where you started. But more about this in a moment.
Because I think pushing the boundaries and having a bit of fun is no bad thing in my book, because I think too many couples have far too little in the way of “experimental sex” and that, in turn, goes a long way to causing the problems male chastity is so good at helping to fix.
Why do we fall into these patterns of boring behaviour?
Well, I don’t think it’s just boredom in every case. Women go off sex for a number of reasons, many of which have nothing to do with their men per se. For example, we love a good session of hot gorilla-sex, but to get us hot you’ve got to warm us up. And while in the early days of a relationship men are usually willing to put the time and effort in… the passage of time makes it a lot less likely they’ll bother.
And then it’s another slippery-slope — this time one far less interesting than the one into ever-more-kinky sex. I guess it comes down to cost/benefit. At some point a random event means he puts in the effort but doesn’t get the reward, or perhaps he gets the reward without the effort, so the next time he makes less of an effort.
But in not making the effort, he’s making sure he doesn’t get the reward… so next time he’ll make even less.
Multiply that by a few hundred Saturday nights and you’ve got your typical marriage.
Another thing is people are so po-faced about sex.
Let’s face it — good sex is not in any way dignified (this is another reason we women need to be warmed up to get us hot). And when you start going beyond the normal techniques and positions, you’ve got to be prepared to laugh at yourselves. I fairly frequently get emails to the effect of, “… and then I had an accidental orgasm and she was really angry with me”.
Well… if these accounts are true, then my reply would always be “she really needs to lighten up”. No one gets good at anything without getting it wrong an awful lot. Anyone who expects to be perfect at any learned skill is a fool — and getting chastity “right”, meaning whatever that means for you both — is a learned skill.
So it’s going to take time, energy and effort (which is why I bang on so much about the Ground Rules in Be Careful, of course).
Anyway, back to what John and I have been up to lately.
Well… as I’ve alluded to in the Male Chastity Lifestyle Newsletter before now, we engage in a bit of bondage play, stemming, amusingly enough, my having to make sure he can’t cheat when I’m giving him a ruined orgasm.
And slippery slope that it is, I’ve treated him to some serious T&D sessions while he’s been well and truly restrained (and… slippery slope that it is, it now means I’ve got my eye on all sorts of bespoke furniture).
… did I mention the slippery slope?
See, John has hinted at exploring corporal punishment before now, but it’s not something I’ve really wanted to do. I mean… it’ll hurt him and ‘punishment’ and ‘reward’ really are not my thing.
That said… that slippery slope makes the idea seem more palatable (he has a fantastic behind and sometimes they simply have to be spanked, right?).
So, right now we’re perusing benches, canes, riding crops and paddles. No promises, mind, but they look like fun and what’s life without a bit of fun?
Why am I sharing this with you?
First, because that’s all part of what I do here; and
Secondly, because it illustrates an important point: having fun and trying new things.
If you don’t go after what you want, you’ll never get it. John isn’t pushy by any means, but he also knows ‘no’ frequently means ‘no, not now’ and not ‘no, never’. And if he hadn’t been persistent we wouldn’t now be perusing benches, canes, riding crops and paddles.
By the same token… if you want male chastity, you may have your work cut out with your Beloved to get what you want.
And this philosophy is, of course, at the core of everything I do, and never more so than in Why He Wants You to Say ‘NO’.