The more unusual questions I get about male chastity

by Sarah on November 27, 2012

One of the less frequent kinds of questions I get are from men who have “heard about” male chastity and are intrigued, and even fascinated, but not particularly “into” it.

Mostly I guess it’s just idle curiosity, with the occasional leaning towards, “will this improve my relationship?”.

Well… I guess it could, depending on what needs improving. I had one chap some time ago who was at his wits’ end saying his wife was going to leave him and was this a way for him to win her back. He was genuine, I think, because he wasn’t full of the Stupid. He’d read plenty of the Stupid, though, and was clutching at straws.

Alas, male chastity won’t fix a broken relationship or marriage and while I can’t say for sure, I did tell him I thought it was unlikely and he’d probably do better to spend his time and money on proper counselling.

As for other men, who can say?

But I do find it unlikely.

In my experience the men who get the most from chastity are those who have had the desire for a very, very long time, in most cases since they first became aware of what their penis was for, apart from urinating.

I do know some men say they grow to like it after their wives have cajoled them into giving it a try, but they are a teeny-tiny minority, and their wives are doing it for all the sane and sensible reasons: to improve their physical and emotional relationships. I suppose it would be a rare man who’d turn down the promise of a much-improved sex-life with his wife, even if the price he had to pay was a little… unusual.

Fact is, male chastity is a very common and very powerful and compelling fantasy and fetish for some men.

But for those who don’t really share it, it seems almost impossible for them to understand. No amount of discussion gets the point over to them, and while they’re not completely nutty like the ‘forced chastity’ fantasists are, the emails do tend to become just as frustrating because they can’t get the idea into their heads that some men actually want orgasm denial, and it eventually boils down to “No, I can’t believe men would want this… there must be more to it than that”. In the same way religious fundamentalists can’t accept the idea evolution is a fact, men who don’t have the craving themselves can’t accept some men love the idea and the reality of orgasm denial.

But… it’s as simple as I say it is: some men just want it.

And if you do want it… no explanation is necessary, of course.

Question: how do you go from your craving and fantasy to reality?

Answer: you have to ask for it, plan for it, and take your partner through the process step by step. If you’re dropping little “hints” and waiting for her to read your fantasy from your mind, you’re going to be waiting for a long, long time (and not the kind of waiting you want to be doing, either).

A few people men have even asked me to add their wives and girlfriends to my email list, so they’ll get the emails and “get” the idea this is what their husband wants. In reality, of course, they’d just think I was some loony pervert stalker or something; others say they have left my blog or chastity forums up on the computer screen, in the hope the message will get through. In this case, I suspect they’ll just think their husband is are some loony pervert stalker or something.

The only way to be sure of getting the message across is to have The Conversation, and to have it like an adult, just as I describe in my free guide (see below for how to get it).

No guarantee she’ll say “yes”, of course, but the chances are vastly improved from any other way I can think of.

What do you have to lose, apart from your orgasms?

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