Why Are Male Orgasm Denial and Male Chastity So Popular?

by Sarah on August 22, 2010

Why are male chastity and male orgasm denial so popular?”

This was the question posed to me in a list of several sent by a lady who has had the good fortune to be passed a copy of Be Careful What You Wish For by her hubby last weekend.

As an aside, I am getting overwhelmingly positive reviews of it, so if you don’t have it yet and you’re serious about male chastity, then I encourage you to look at it now (or at least check out the free guide and newsletter).

Because when you get grateful men saying things like this to you about orgasm denial:

The reason for my mail to you is to thank you for giving me the courage to ask her out right! Your comments are so straight and correct. IF YOU want something ask, Women are not mind readers. My wife is not into D/s or sissy or slave just very vanilla. So as we were driving back from shopping the other week I said I want to buy and wear a steel belt, she did not kill me. cry or kick my teeth down my throat […] Today I rang Richard [of Tollyboy] and he reckons I will have belt in 8 days time. Thank you for making me stronger [married 35 years] by the way”

Then you get an inkling you’re doing something right.

But why male chastity and male orgasm denial?

On the face of it, you’d not think a man would be so happy in the knowledge he’s pretty soon going to be suffering what must be one of the hardest things for a man to endure: long term male orgasm denial.

orgasm denial in a word

Orgasm Denial — It Does What It Says on the Tin

But they are.

And it is hard to see why, it’s true.

As I’ve remarked before, if John was to stop just before I came and told me, “Nope, that’s it…” I’d be climbing the walls. I’d probably dive on him and rape him. Or beat him to death.

It drives me insane enough when he teases me a little keeping me on the edge for what seems like hours but is in truth probably under a minute (one of the advantages of having multiple orgasms for us girls, Gentlemen, is we don’t have to savour them). So full orgasm denial would be beyond the pale.

There is the power-exchange kick, of course.

And then there are the many, many benefits to marriages and relationships – increased intimacy, the opportunity to become more rational and reasonable about sex, even advantages for men with ED who feel the pressure to “perform” taken off them.

But on top of all this there is that delicious, exquisite, aching desire, urge and need to come… coupled with the thrill of knowing beyond all doubt your craving to have that release denied is going to be indulged… perhaps for months on end (if you’re a very lucky boy).

Not long ago there was a discussion on male chastity and male orgasm denial on a very vanilla forum – and it seemed impossible for the people there to break out of the mindset that it was abusive and the province of insecure, untrusting and controlling people.

Hell, just search on Google and you’ll find loads of places where men and women laugh and guffaw at the whole thing – entirely missing the point, every single time. It’s common… but it ain’t normal.

And so to answer the lady’s original question…

I don’t actually know why men crave orgasm denial

We can ask our men about it and hypothesise until the cows come home yet still not get an answer we can slap down on the table and say, “Yup, there it is… The Answer!”.

What we do know is male chastity and male orgasm denial are fairly common games men and women play, and I bet they span all enlightened cultures (and are probably harboured a secret and very illicit fantasy by the rest ).

This suggests they’re probably touching off some very deep and fundamental fireworks hard-wired into our neurology. There’s no obvious reason for us to have evolved this way, but then there are many peculiar secondary effects of evolution that aren’t detrimental to survival and so have no pressure for them to be bred out of the species.

To this lady I’d say… who cares why?

I love knowing things… but I learned a long time ago not to bash my head against walls I knew were never going to yield – and the why’s of others’ motivations, especially when it comes to kinky games like male chastity and male orgasm denial are one of those walls, no doubt about it.

So I’m content not to know why orgasm denial is so craved by men, and simply enjoy the fun.

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