Keyholder Chastity and Male Chastity Obsession

by Sarah on June 22, 2010

For those without a keyholder chastity can be elusive if not virtually impossible in any meaningful way. I do know men who successfully “enforce” male chastity upon themselves using any number of plans, schemes and strategies ranging all the way from simply keeping the key in a drawer, to locking it in a timed-safe to sending it off to a remote keyholding service.

And I get the impression that unless the key is physically inaccessible to them it doesn’t quite hit the spot.

It’s not terribly difficult to see why this is, and they have in the main confirmed my thinking about this: the big kick most men get from wearing a chastity belt and having their orgasms denied is the loss of control. They tell me it’s not the same if male chastity is a matter of won’t get the key when they want it to be a matter of can’t get the key.

I can grok that. I imagine it’s very much like when John pins me to the bed when he’s fucking me hard – I struggle and fight and try to push him off, but I don’t want to be able to. I know if I really wanted him to stop, it would be easy because I could convey the desire to him – it’s my way of enjoying an illusory loss of control and it wouldn’t be the same if I was strong enough to force John to stop. Keyholder chastity seems very much the same to me.

So what’s a man to do?

Again, this is one of those questions like, “how long is a piece of string?”. There are lots of answers but not all of them are particularly useful, and the only way to get one which is useful is to start measuring.

Ultimately the men I’ve spoken to about this say without a keyholder chastity is just no fun at all. Which on the face of it is bizarre, because even if they did have someone holding their key ending male chastity would be no harder than a few minutes’ chomping with a pair of bolt cutters – conceptually it’s no different from cutting your way into a lockbox or a safe (perhaps a safe would be a little harder, but not impossible).

The common argument is access to their key depends on their own willpower. This completely ignores the fact they can cut any device off in minutes, which just goes to show how powerful an illusion can be at distorting our emotional view of reality.

So the next question is “why not simply throw your key down a well or into the sea?” Surely that then removes the element of self-control from male chastity in just the same way as keyholder chastity does?

But no, it doesn’t. See, if you do that then the only way to get into the belt is to use force – and that decision is once more solely in the hands of the man wearing the belt.

I guess for men who don’t have a partner to help them engage in keyholder chastity the choices are fairly limited – friends, commercial services, whatever.

I suppose this can work but from what I’ve seen of the online services available it’s all Dommes and the like, many of whom are looking for “tribute slaves” to engage in “financial humiliation” (read “spongers”. Although, perhaps that’s a bit unfair: quid pro quo, and a fair exchange is no robbery).

I think there’s a gap in the market for some enterprising woman to set herself up as a more discerning keyholder – someone who’ll focus on the male chastity and not the other silliness that seems inseparable in the vast sea of ignorance surrounding the lifestyle – perhaps offering sensible email support (and perhaps gentle teasing) rather than verbal abuse. If you have any thoughts on this, please send me a message.

However you single men choose to scratch this particular male chastity itch, you all have my sympathy. I realise it’s an itch, a burning desire that simply isn’t going to go away and the more you think about keyholder chastity and how it’s being denied you, the more you want it.

I know I frequently caution all men and women to keep a clear head when making decisions, but this doesn’t mean it’s not pleasant to let yourself go from time to time – just be sure it’s in a safe environment with minimal comeback when – not if but when – you say or do something really dumb.

It’s clear to me from the tone of the messages I get keyholder chastity is a real problem for a lot of single men (and for married ones, too, but there’s not a lot we can do about that since it’s up to them to sort things out with their wives).

Male chastity might not be mainstream, but it’s becoming increasingly obvious a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do.

I do hope John is feeling particularly grateful ;-).

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