How Common is Male Chastity?

by Sarah on April 12, 2010

Some interesting comments and messages on the myth of enforced male chastity, and, indeed support for my writing the Guide.

Thank you all, especially those who have encouraged me to write the Guide. I’ll get it done eventually. Probably a couple of months, perhaps a little longer.

But in this post I’d like to bring up a point someone asked me in a private message.

She asked, “In your opinion how many couples as a percentage do you think dabble in this delightful sex play. And as you posted here how many more do you think play with male denial?

Truth is… I don’t have a clue. I don’t see how anyone could easily find out, either, short of conducting a random survey (it’s no good asking here or in the forums because the audience is obviously self‐selecting for this particular kink).

I think male chastity per se is probably quite rare and confined to groups, forums, munches and blogs such as this. Gawd alone knows how the “word” spread before the Internet was invented. My mind boggles.

But I think the practice is probably more widespread than we give credit for, since I don’t see how even mild teasing, when a woman holds her man on the edge of orgasm when they’re making love, is anything other than mild chastity play.

And I suspect every woman who’s not a complete prude, extremely sexually inhibited, or some mind of religious kook, has done this at some point in her life (and don’t men just love it?).

The question is, how wide is that gulf between mild, spontaneous teasing… and the formal and often very ritualistic game of male chastity as we know and understand it?

I’ve asked John about this, and he says his fantasy is something he’s had for a long time – that a woman would control his orgasms, not let him come when they make love and so on. But he didn’t give it a name or a label until he came across a forum or website mentioning it just two or three years ago.

Until then it was a nameless kink or fantasy he harboured.

And although I obviously knew he liked to be edged and teased more than most, until he broached the whole subject to me, along with the means of how to make the fantasy as real as possible, I had zero clue such things as male chastity and chastity belts and devices even existed.

So… back to the original question: how common is it?

Not very is my guess (and it really is a guess). We do know there are several people who seem to make a living out of hand‐crafted made‐to‐measure chastity belts, and there are dozens if not hundreds of retailers of the CB3000 and similar devices, some of which are also made to measure.

What does really interest me is how mainstream it could be given the right impetus and exposure. I’ve yet to mention it to a man who didn’t quite obviously find it exciting to think about even if they coughed and spluttered when I described male chastity to them.

I think it’s untrue to say most men want a dominant woman in their bed and that they secretly yearn to submit (that’s one of those untestable statements people like to come out with safe in the knowledge they can’t be proven wrong), but I’ve yet to meet one who didn’t like a woman who took control between the sheets, at least occasionally.

And what about women?

Some of us are cold fish, either by nature or because we’re in unrewarding and unsatisfying relationships. In those cases, while male chastity might have some appeal if he makes your skin crawl, it’s not excitement making it appeal.

But on the whole women, once they understand the concept and mentally divorce it from the male‐submission kink which it’s perhaps unfortunately become synonymous with seem to find it intriguing and equally as exciting as the men.

It’d be fascinating to do some research on this… get a group of couples, split them up and get them to read some educational material about male chastity and then interview them individually about their feelings towards it, before interviewing them a second time together.

My guess is as individuals they’d be straining at the leash for it… but when together would be rather more reticent.

I don’t know of course.

It’s just fascinating to think about.

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