The Male Chastity Lifestyle Is Supposed To Be Fun, Isn't It?

by Sarah on May 4, 2010

Perhaps it’s just me but… isn’t the male chastity lifestyle supposed to be fun?

I don’t mean it can’t be serious, because as John Cleese pointed out, the opposite of fun isn’t serious; rather it’s solemn.

And there’s no denying it’s serious business keeping your man from orgasming when every nerve in his body and in yours is telling you to grant him that sublime release.

And it’s something I found hard to get used to in the beginning, before I really understood that’s not only wanted me to do (although not at the time), but that’s what it took to get the sublime results we actually wanted. But we should expect it to be hard, because to be blunt and simplistic about it, hundreds of thousands if not millions of years of human evolution are pretty much predicated on the male orgasm. We got where we are and became what we’ve become as a direct result of the drive, both male and female, to make the male orgasm happen.

From that perspective, the male chastity lifestyle is not natural. What’s more while it’s simple, it’s by no means easy.

As they say, no pain, no gain ;-).

Of course, to say it’s “not natural” doesn’t have to be pejorative, unless you choose to see it that way, because shoes, spectacles, refrigerators, caesarean‐sections, aeroplanes, and even the computer I’m typing this on now are not natural, either.

But back to the idea of it all being a bit of fun.

It seems some people are making far too big a deal of the whole thing. I say this not from any objective standpoint, but from my subjective observation that the person who emailed me about this is thoroughly unhappy with the way things are (I have her permission to write about it, even though I won’t identify her).

It seems her hubby wants the male chastity lifestyle, all bells and whistles attached, right up until the time he’s not allowed to orgasm. Then he gets surly, grumpy and bad tempered.

And she in her turn gets confused, nervous and feels completely lost in the whole thing. She’s damned if she does, and damned if she doesn’t.

As I wrote to her, “it seems to me, D, that you’re engaged in something that simply isn’t leading you to happy places. Your husband is topping from the bottom. Nothing wrong with that if that’s what you’ve both agreed on, but the way you’re relating it to me, that’s not what he’s asking for”.

It’s hard to know what to say to this kind of thing. I feel blessed because John has stuck by his word on the male chastity lifestyle right from the outset: I have control, and that’s it. He doesn’t sulk or complain or get grouchy.

If he did, I think I’d ignore it until his mood had passed, and then remind him gently “this is what you asked for, remember?” (reminding a currently‐grumpy man he’s grumpy because of what he asked for and it’s all his own fault is asking for a row, I suspect).

If it happened more than a couple of times, then I’d choose my moment and then sit down and have a serious talk about the whole male chastity lifestyle thing, and tell him firmly and without any animosity that it wasn’t working for me… and either that had to change or we had to stop.

And it does have to work for both of you, else you’re simply sacrificing your own happiness for someone else’s and when that happens neither of you end up happy.

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