As I’ve said often enough before, male chastity lies very much along a continuum.
One the one hand you’ve got simple chastity play, which can be as mild and gentle as simple teasing, the kind of thing every couples enjoyed at some point, even though the label we give this delightful kink is unknown to them.
And then at the other end we’ve got the more – and often very – extreme forms, up to and I suppose including (even though I really don’t want to believe this is true), actual castration and penectomy.
And most of us are somewhere in between (it’s practically certain you’d find it follows a Gaussian distribution, like every other measure of humanity).
One thing I’ve noticed – and John has added some unique male insights into this for this week’s newsletter – is the tendency for male chastity to start out mild and rapidly become more extreme.
Now… is this a good thing or a bad thing?
I don’t think it’s objectively either – it depends on what the people involved want from it, after all.
If you find the idea a bit icky but you go along with it just to please your partner, then any tendency for your partner to get more and more into it is simply going to be more and more icky. In which case it’s probably a bad thing (but then you should be having actual adult conversations about this, and neither of you should really be doing anything you find genuinely repugnant).
Looking at my own experiences of male chastity, they’re not substantially different from what I’m observing in the relationships of perhaps a dozen or more regular correspondents.
It’s actually quite heartening, especially when they credit me for the advice I give out in Why He Wants You To Say ‘NO!’.
Well… it’s always nice to be appreciated, but really I write nothing more than common sense.
But back to my own experiences: I really can’t remember a lot of detail about those very early days. I remember some of the feelings – especially the early fear and bewilderment – but the details kind of merge into the background a bit.
Yet I do know it wasn’t long before I started taking more of a lead as it became less and less strange and threatening (is that the right word?).
And I do remember one day realising how male chastity had gone from being just a game we played when we made love (which necessarily became much more frequent) to something that was becoming something more, something tightly woven into the fabric of our lives together.
That was about the time when I really began to want to push John. At first, a week seemed like an eternity for both of us; then one day we were in our third week aiming for the full month, and it was all down to me – I’d definitely taken charge of the schedule and was busy enforcing the rules.
I don’t remember taking real control over from John, and I think it reality it was actually before we signed the male chastity contract we have in our fireproof box… but that’s what I did.
And now… I can’t imagine going back to how it was. Nor can John. The thought of being with a man who orgasms when he feels like it is almost… preposterous. How boring! How pedestrian and predictable lovemaking would be.
Who’d go back to a mini having driven a Rolls?
Right now, as you’ll be aware if you read Something for the Weekend, my free weekly newsletter, John is in orgasm denial until Christmas at the very least; you’ll also know there be a fair to middling chance he’s not going to be allowed to enter me in that time, either. I still can’t make my mind up about that one.
Perhaps I’ll just let him slide sloooowly in and out once every week. Just that… in from the tip to the root and out again for a count of ten… just so he knows.
Just so he feels.
Just so he remembers.
This isn’t idle musing, mind… because I keep getting the thought (and going back to my original theme)… what if the year of just male chastity and orgasm denial isn’t enough for me?
What if I want to deny him penetration for that long, too?
I get this awful feeling it’s simply too cruel an idea to let pass me by… he really shouldn’t have bought me that rabbit, you know…
P.S. Those of you waiting for tomorrow’s announcement… keep your fingers crossed. It’s definitely going to be worth waiting for…