Messages from 'Certain Kinds' of Submissive Men

by Sarah on May 25, 2012

I read an interesting quote the other day in a magazine article on women’s sexuality and society.

It went, from memory:

men perceive women have more sexual choice and power and so seek to control them”.

Obviously this needs to be taken in context — he is clearly not talking about ALL men.

But here’s an unpleasant tendency I’ve noticed with a small but significant proportion of the self-professed “submissive” men who send me messages.

Often I’ll reply quite assertively that I really don’t want them sending the kinds of things they HAVE sent me — from photographs, and offers of “servitude” to lurid details of their “true stories” and asking for my comments on them.

And some of them reply rather aggressively. Makes me think what kind of “sub” they really are.

I don’t just mean they disagree with me. Oh no, I mean they write with the same tone you can imagine a man uses when he has you cornered in an elevator or the back of a bus and he wants to intimidate you.

Not one of them would have the balls to take this line with another man, but because I’m a woman, they seem to think it’s OK to compensate for their lack of sexual power and choice with intimidation.

And to cap it all (and I swear I am not making this up) as their justification for this behaviour some of them even quote Bible verses at me. That’s about as scary as telling me Santa won’t bring me any presents, or the Easter Bunny is going to eat all my chocolate.

As it is, I laugh at them and simply get John to block them from contacting me. And stalkers don’t worry me, because I have my very own James Bond with rifle, shotgun and Attitude to protect me.

The point is this: before they turn nasty, almost to a man, these douchebags tell me they have “problems” in getting their wives to play the game.

Quelle surprise!

Is it really any wonder, all things considered?

Now, before you start on me, I am not saying all men are like this. Nor am I saying all submissive men are. Far from it. Nor am I some kind of radical feminist. I love men. I love being a woman. I love being pampered, looked after and treated chivalrously.

I’m merely pointing out there’s a goodly proportion of them out there who are NEVER going to get what they want because they’re simply not interested in playing a GAME at all. They simply want to own and control. They don’t want relationships. They want possessions.

And the icing on the cake?

Not a one of them has ever read Be Careful, something they usually tell me with what I imagine must be glee (I think they really hate the thought of a woman making her own income, you know).

Why not?

Probably because they don’t want to improve their relationship at all, since they don’t respect women (and seemingly don’t respect themselves, either).

I pity the women they’re with, truly I do.

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