Tease and Denial – a Must for Most Men

by Sarah on January 30, 2011

Tease and denial is at the forefront of most men’s minds when it comes to male chastity. The second part of this is a given for most, or if it isn’t it quickly becomes so once the benefits of tease and denial to his wife or girlfriend become apparent.

This kind of carries on from what I was saying about control and denial. I suppose tease and denial is the ultimate expression of control (think about it… just ‘locking and leaving’ is in fact control, but it’s control not being obviously exercised, which is what men want. It’s like justice has to been seen to be done, as well as actually done).

But for whatever reason, the tease and denial thing is still causing some problems, largely, I think, because of (surprise surprise) incomplete communication between men and women who are just getting into the swing of things.

Now, there is a small but vocal (and often vicious) minority who think a man should be ‘locked and left’ and dressed up like a Barbie doll.

If you’re one of them, then that’s fine – just realise this Blog isn’t written with you in mind, so you probably won’t find much you agree with or like. It simply won’t feed your particular fantasy.

For me…

Tease and Denial is Essential

And it’s essential for two reasons:

  1. I enjoy sex with John. Locking and leaving him would be cutting off my nose to spite my face.
  2. I love knowing he enjoys tease and denial (even though he’s begging for mercy by the end of it).

But this is, I think, where us women tend to have the problems, especially in the early days. Because it’s hard to get our heads around the idea he actually wants this (and let’s face it – most of us have experienced in the past what it’s like when a guy gets angry because you won’t give him what he wants).

And this is also, incidentally, something men need to watch in themselves when they’re first getting into male chastity – remember your lady is perhaps not going to be too sure about all this and the last thing you want to do if she’s accommodating enough to give it a go is get all petulant and pissy when tease and denial turns out to be exactly that.

So remember… the reality of male chastity in general, and tease and denial in particular, is very different from the wank-fantasies you’ve had, in which the culmination was, in many cases, your orgasm.

If you’re playing the male chastity game, and you’re telling your lady, “don’t let me come” then you’re going to find it very, very different when that actually happens. I KNOW, because John, and dozens of other men have told me so. Face it… you don’t even want her to be merciful, do you? No. But you will in that moment, that I promise you. And it’s hard as a woman not to cave in.

The other side of the coin is this, ladies… unless you’re going down an extreme female domination route where he doesn’t get so much as a stroke for years on end…

Tease and Denial Really IS Essential

tease and denial

Why he wants tease and denial…

Which is just one more of the many reasons I tell you male chastity and tease and denial aren’t a panacea and will only make a bad relationship worse, even if at first blush it seems like a great opportunity to put the seal of formality on a de-facto sexless relationship. I’ve written about this so many times it’s even starting to annoy me, but still people Don’t Get It.

So WHY does a man want tease and denial?

You’ll have to ask them. I’ve gone over this many times and I’m still no wiser, not really. I can perhaps perceive a glimmer of understanding, but that’s all.

But the fact is many of them do, and in terms of the men who email me and comment on my work, most of them do.

I can’t speak for anyone else, but for me tease and denial is part of what makes male chastity worthwhile for us both.

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