My Big Announcement is delayed until tomorrow.
Because John and I were out of town yesterday and I haven’t had time to get done what I needed to.
And instead, then, let’s answer the simple question raised by this wistful email: “If only i could find the right woman to lock me up Miss Sarah”.
Well, putting aside the fact it’s Mrs Sarah, since I’m married, the first thing I’d do is ask what are you doing to FIND such a woman?
I’ve been over this before, and I talk about the single man and male chastity in Why He Wants You to Say No — but if you’re single and male chastity is important to you, then it makes perfect sense to have it on your “shopping list” when you go searching for a partner.
It’s no secret at all that John and I met online, and while he didn’t have male chastity on his list, he had a lot of other things on it.
Now, I know a lot of people misconstrue my message here and quite rightly point out that basing a relationship on a kink or fetish isn’t a good idea.
But that’s not what I’m saying.
What I am actually saying is it makes perfect sense to have an interest in or a willingness to try male chastity as a necessary but not by itself sufficient criterion in your partner.
Sure, this narrows down the field considerably, and it maybe also narrows down the places you can hope to find someone (but I don’t think that’s necessarily true. The steps I discuss in detail in Why He Wants You to Say No will work just as well with a new relationship as with an existing one).
Furthermore, because it’s not something very many women are interested in or even aware of until their man suggests it to them, it’s likely you’re going to have to put some work into planning exactly how to broach the subject with someone before you become emotionally entangled.
It’s all fairly simple, but not necessarily easy, I’ll grant you. In other words, you have your work cut out for you.
But it’s not impossible and the courage and self-discipline required to do it will considerably strengthen your backbone, I’m sure.
And I really do think it would be worth it — because in the long run it will be much less emotionally draining and ultimately more successful for more people than getting into the relationship first and then seeking to “convert” her with dropped hints and then an outright confession.
Don’t get me wrong — this can and does work. It worked for John and me.
But I suspect the other way is both easier and more likely to succeed, long term.