The Case Against Male Chastity and Orgasm Denial

by Sarah on March 24, 2011

Male chastity and orgasm denial are, for me, a big thing. They form an important part of my life, especially now there’s the blog, and they’re a fairly small but profound part of my relationship with John how did bob marley die.

None of which will come as a surprise to anyone, I’m sure.

But one of the things I have to stress is…

Chastity and Orgasm Denial are NOT for Everyone

To me this is obvious – and it always has been. But there is still a small but quite vocal and very deluded section of my readers who hope against hope male chastity and orgasm denial are going to make their lives whole and happy.

I’ve written about this before (oh so many times!), and it’s a little frustrating to be writing about it again, but I feel compelled to stress the point because I get messages every single day about it.

The fact is regardless of your desire for it and no matter how much you feel you want it, male chastity and orgasm denial are not magically going to change your life.

You might feel that way right now, but there’s the important word: feel. If you’ve allowed your fantasy to consume you, then you’re simply not thinking rationally.

Thinking chastity and orgasm denial are some kind of panacea is really not so very different from the teenager who thinks having the latest new‐fangled phone or iPad is going to transform their lives into the sun‐filled, exciting and adventurous lifestyle the TV ads want you to think they will (all the girls are slim and blonde, and all the guys hunky… nowhere does it show rainy days, period pains and the dull drudgery of work).

Two things, in my mind, cause me to caution anyone from playing with chastity and orgasm denial.

First, of course, is … then chastity and orgasm denial are not going to help and, in fact, are going to make things much, much worse. This is pretty obvious to my way of thinking, but, unhappily, it’s been borne out empirically over the past year, too. I’ve had email from irate wives and demoralised husbands alike and it gives me no satisfaction to be able to say “I told you so“.

See, while male chastity can make a good relationship great and even fantastic, it can only build on what’s there. If the reasons for the lack of emotional and physical intimacy in your relationship are to do with an underlying aversion to it, then something meant to increase those things is like trying to quench a blaze with petrol.

I do think a relationship in that state needs help, because life is too short to be miserable; but chastity and orgasm denial are not the answer.

Connected to this is the often unexpressed but very powerful assumption that all of a sudden your life is going to change for the better. Just like the iPad thing… it won’t. These things take time, and your wife or girlfriend is going to have to adjust to things and, let’s face it, chastity and orgasm denial ain’t normal. Yes, there’s a good chance she’ll grow to enjoy your denial perhaps a little too much, but most of the men I hear from are in way too big of a hurry and, frankly, expect too much of the whole chastity and orgasm denial thing.

Second, if you’re the whining, passive‐aggressive type who’s looking at it just as a way of getting some good sex, and getting it more often. Fact is, while you probably will have more sexual activity, unlike now when your fantasies end with your orgasm (masturbation being one of the habits you perhaps want to curb), your orgasms will, I hope, be few and far between. And, take it from a woman married to a man who knows this from long experience, the reality of chastity and orgasm denial, especially if your woman likes it strict and serious as I do, is a lot different from the reality.

Chastity and orgasm denial are great fun and I think could do a lot for many, many relationships but they are not a cure all.

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