As you ought to know by now, I am not a Domme.
I think I’ve made that abundantly clear on many occasions. Yet this still doesn’t stop the occasional ignoramus slapping labels left, right and centre, with the usual refrain being “I can’t see how…”.
Well, I’m afraid your inability to understand something doesn’t make it untrue. That’s a classic ploy used by uneducated religious nitwits who say evolution can’t be true because, well, they don’t really see how it’s possible.
Really, this kind of thinking is an example of the cum hoc fallacy: many people assume because male chastity and male submission often occur together, they must be causally related.
But I don’t want to dwell on this, because experience over the last couple of years has shown me arguing with these fools is futile. They can’t separate male chastity and male submission in their own minds, so they insist no one else can do it, either.
No, my gripe today is…
… the submissive men who simply won’t leave me alone.
OK, as has been pointed out to me by my friend Tom Allen, and by my own hubby, John, if I, a woman, start writing a sexually-themed blog, then it’s almost certain I am going to get my fair share of weirdos, kooks and freaks bugging me.
I suppose it’s inevitable, but that doesn’t make it acceptable. I’m sure none of these men would dare act this way in real life, because if they did they’d get their lights punched out.
But because it’s online they somehow think persistently bugging people with unwanted attention is somehow acceptable.
Some of them explicitly tell me they hope they annoy me enough I’ll expose their real name on the blog… because they want the humiliation.
Of course, I don’t do this because I’m not here to give sad attention-seeking wankers the thrill they want.
The fact is, I simply don't find submissive men attractive
It’s nothing personal and I’m sure they’re very nice people, just as most people are in most circumstances most of the time. But a submissive man who won’t take no for an answer? He’s a thoroughly repugnant excuse for a human being, and is not a very nice person at all. The same is true of any man who doesn’t seem to understand “no means NO”.
When a man is told “I am not interested. Go away” then as far as I am concerned, that is that. Any approach after that becomes unwanted and harassment.
But those human vermin aside, I am in no way making a judgement of the submissive man’s general worth as a human being, mind. I expect in other respects they’ll be a normal cross-section of the population in terms of temperament, likeability, and so on.
Yet the fact is, I simply don’t find submissive men in the least bit sexually attractive. In fact, I find their submissiveness thoroughly offputting. Dominating a man, walking over his naked body and having him follow me round like a lost puppy and calling me “Mistress” every five seconds is not what gets my juices flowing.
Alas, it seems in the strangely Politically Correct World of Kink you’re not allowed to say things like that. As John pointed out to me today, it’s reminiscent of an old episode of King of The Hill where Hank said words to the effect of “how come if I’m white I can’t dislike a black man?”.
Well, it’s the same kind of thing here.
It seems in certain quarters in the World of Kink, if you express a preference, you’re somehow discriminating against anyone who doesn’t fit your criteria and that’s Really Bad Thing To Do.
But we all discriminate all the time. We all have our friends and people we like more than others. And we choose them according to surprisingly arbitrary and narrow criteria.
Newsflash: it’s my right as a sovereign individual to decide whom I have sexual relations with and I can accept or reject anyone I please for any reason I please — height, weight, colour, race, hair colour, eye-colour, intelligence, body size, body type, smell, hirsuteness, sexual preferences and how submissive they are.
I do realise this is an argument I am never going to win, simply because the people who have these odd ideas about what we should and should not be allowed to say, think and feel have not arrived at these asshat ideas through any form of logical thought. They occupy an emotional position, and anyone who’s every tried to talk a child out of crying knows you can’t use logic to argue someone out of a position they didn’t get into by logical means.
I realise the number of submissive men out there dwarfs the number of dominant women available to dominate them. So I understand how frustrating it must be for submissive man who really does feel this need to be dominated when he comes across a blog like this and constructs his perfect dominant fantasy woman in his mind.
It must be hard to get to grips with the truth — she’s not dominant and she really isn’t interested in having slaves or servants. I swear, every man who writes to me with this “once in a lifetime” offer must think he is the first one ever to have had the idea and can hardly get the grovelling offer typed out quickly enough.
Listen up guys: yes, I write a sex blog and sex-themed ebooks. Yes, I like sex. No, I love sex. And lots of it with as many different twists, turns, kinks and variations as I can think of. And the more I write about it, the hornier I seem to get. That’s just John’s good fortune, and if it seems “unfair” to others out there in the sexual wilderness, then that’s just your hard luck.
Yes, we practice strict long-term male chastity and John is lucky if he gets to cum more than once every three or four months — because that’s the game we like to play. So perhaps he’s lucky he doesn’t get to cum more than once every three or four months.
And yes, we are still talking about permanent orgasm denial for him.
But regardless of all that and my admittedly high sex drive, I am not available, I am not dominant, and I am not interested in any man other than my husband.
And if I was, you can bet your cock he’d not be a male submissive.
Sorry if that disappoints anyone, but that’s how it is.
Deal with it.