Avery long and heartfelt message from a reader today.
i have a lady that i love very much and have loved for 13 years i introduced the chastity tube i bought the cb6k for longer then a one day usage. when we make love i try and tell her her that she comes first and that the device would only benefit her in the long run.
I sent her articles of games that we can play with it and all the fun that can be had for her while i wear it. but she just mock and wants nothing to do with it. i freely give up the keys and fine it erotic and amazing when she does play with it. however, after two days she throws the keys too me with no games involved and says take it off.
i am truly at a loss here i have done what i can and am about to throw the device in the trash. if you cant play with it then what good it is having it around. i really want to have the fun and to make her happy and if she is not happy about the whole thing it will get rid of it. i even proposed to put it on and put the keys in the lock box that i bought just for it and then she would not have to worry about it.
her parents are visiting so i know there will be nothig while they are here so i proposed to put it on while they were visiting no worries on her part. she denied me that pleasure.
am i miissing something or am i cominh abouy it the wrong way. my previous thought that a woman would love to have that kind of control. sex on her terms not mine and her pleasure not mine till she allowed it.
we play sometimes for two days but its not playing its more like she is just letting me wear it because she knows i like it. it has never made it two days and to be honest that is when the fun really starts. i was going to try and go five (thats how long the partents are visiting) but she said she didnt want me to do it. i love and respect her enough to honor her wish.
should i be a dick so she wants me locked up or should i try something different.if not i will be throwing it in the trash its not worth keeping it if i am not going ro have fun with it snf motr importantly if she isnt. thank you for listening any comments email me ~ JF
Well, ultimately if she won’t play, then she won’t play and there are some things we, each of us, simply won’t do no matter how hard people try to get us to do them.
For whatever reason they conflict with the values we hold dear.
That’s a worst-case scenario but it’s one you have to be aware might be the result of all your efforts, no matter what you do. If that’s the case, then you need to decide what you want more: her, or chastity. I’m not making light of this, because you’d be amazed just how badly some men crave it. I don’t judge them, because we’re all entitled to be happy and to ask for what we want.
Without knowing the intimate details of your life and relationship (and I don’t want to know them — I am not a therapist) it’s hard to say, but it seems to me you’re being a little pushy about this. It’s all very one-sided and seems to be you telling her what you want.
What’s in it for her?
What would she want out of it if she stopped long enough to listen to you?
I haven’t heard her side of things and it’s likely she has a very different view of how you’re approaching it from yours.
If I was in your place, I’d go back to square one and arrange some time to have a serious talk about your lives together. I wouldn’t even mention male chastity at first.
Because my feeling is if a woman or a man is this resolute and obstinate about something like this, then there’s usually some deeper problem in the relationship.
Men and women who are happy and comfortable with themselves and together in their sexual relationships tend to be more indulgent and willing to experiment for the sake of their mate, even if what’s suggested isn’t immediately appealing.
Sadly straight-talk about sex between adults is woefully rare and exceedingly difficult for most.
The only suggestion I have on this, save for getting some counselling for you both is to read my free Guide and follow the steps. If you want more in-depth material there’s always Be Careful itself, but I really don’t think that’s for you at this stage. It seems to me you have underlying issues to sort out first.
Being a dick won’t help. Male chastity is a game, and you don’t get people to play games with you by annoying them.
I’m sorry I can’t be much more help than that.