When Your Chaste Man Becomes a Pest

by Sarah on September 26, 2011

This is an unusual one, although I suspect the behaviour will be familiar to some, especially those in the D&S scene:

Hello, I was needing a little advice.  At the start of our relationship he was Dom and I was sub.   He approached me on switching and chasity device. He is very serious about this and it makes him happy.

The problem is he is consumed by it.

He will not let thing progress naturally.  His sex drive is unreal. Locking up his penis has made him needy and clinging.  This is a man who is military and rides a Harley.

The non stop touching, grabbing, begging, sappy affection, and the constant need to talk about it isnt turning me on.

Also, is the chaste safe for the health of his testicles, penis, and SPERM. Thank you. Mistress BG

To me, this looks very much like what’s called “topping from the bottom”.

I can but imagine how irritating it must be.

There are a couple of ways I can think of to approach this, although I can’t pretend I know which one will work, or, indeed if either of them will.

The first thing I would try myself is talking about it to him.

The fact it’s really not turning you on is something you ought to be telling him not me. I’m guessing you, like many women do, simply get irritated and annoyed and don’t clearly articulate what the problem is (I write about precisely this in the FREE Guide, Why He Wants You to Say NO!).

Men do tend to forget chastity is hard work for women if we want to get it right for them, so we’re entitled to some quid pro quo.

So a second thing you can try is telling him you won’t play if he won’t play.

Meaning, if he keeps bugging you, you’re just going to hand his key back to him. This is by far the worst punishment you can give him if he really craves male chastity, I suspect. Tell him he can’t have what he wants (chastity) unless you get what you want (to be left alone to decide what happens when).

To answer your second question… I am not a doctor and I don’t give medical advice.

That said, I am not aware of any definitive or compelling evidence suggesting male chastity and orgasm denial are harmful in any way.

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